Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Hagee writes a fantasy novel!

Well, okay, it's an outline. And a bad outline from his Weekly Devotional at that.

“Witchcraft, sorcery, magic and idol worship have been around since the earliest days of man.

Oh boy! I love fantasy stories! I heard this one about a guy who could fly and bullets bounced off his chest and we wore a red “S” on his chest. That was a neat story!

They do indeed, pre-date Christianity, as we know it today—just as their practitioners like to point out with pride. But they do not pre-date, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob-the one who created the universe. They are, in fact, part of a rebellion against Him and His laws.” (WND Editor Joseph Farah)

Hmmm…the start of this one is a little flat. Maybe you could talk about the witch herself or introduce the evil force that she has to face. Or something about how the magic works in your fantasy world. That would be neat!

The church in America

America! So this is one of those alternate reality stories where witchcraft and magic exist. Those are great!

is getting used to the dark, not because the light doesn’t have the power any more, but because we haven’t turned on the light.

You’re losing readers here. This is both boring and confusing for a fantasy story.

The closing chapters of American history are being dominated by the prince of darkness.

Prince of Darkness! Okay, you got my attention again. He must be the bad guy.

Abortion…anarchy…homosexuality…pornography…drugs…alcohol…divorce…child abuse…suicide…rape…murder…incest…men love darkness rather than light, because their deeds are evil (John 3:19).

You really need to pick a topic for your book and stick with it. You seem to be lacking focus now.

We are surrounded by artificial illumination.

And bad plot development!

Education does not have the light. Education without God only produces intellectual barbarians. Hitler’s Nazis had Ph.D.’s and they threw live Jewish children into the ovens. They were absolutely brilliant, but they were barbarians.

So Nazis are the bad guys? Okay, it’s a bit hackneyed, but whatever.

The New Age movement does not have the light. This is not the dawning of a new era of light; this is the beginning of the new dark ages.

Whoa! You haven’t introduced this character to the readers yet. That’s just bad form.

Feminists do not have the light. The feminist movement is not about equality; it’s about control.

You’re losing focus and readers again! Check your plot outline, I’m sure you can do better!

Environmentalists do not have the light. Much of the ecology movement is not about saving the environment; it’s about nature worship. There is a difference between Mother Earth and Father God. The earth is the Lord’s…the earth is not Lord.

Or perhaps you can’t.

The occult does not have the light. Reading your horoscope is not a harmless diversion; it is witchcraft. Isaiah says, “…Let now the astrologers, the stargazers, the monthly prognosticators, stand up, and save thee form these things that shall come upon thee. Behold, they shall be as stubble; the fire shall burn them; they shall not deliver themselves from the power of the flame…” (Isa.47: 13,14).

The occult! That would be the people in your fantasy world who can actually do the witchcraft and magic you talked about earlier, right?

We’re getting used to the dark. There is a slow, subtle, sinister brainwashing process

True! Except for the slow and subtle parts.

going on whereby we are gradually being desensitized to the dark. What the church is calling broad-minded tolerance, is merely peaceful coexistence with evil.

Another new character, the church! Since they’re coexisting with evil, does that make this character a good guy or a bad guy? I’m confused.

There is no fellowship between light and darkness.

Conflict! Excellent! This story might just yet be saved.

When the world wants you to be “broad-minded” and tolerant,” what they actually want is for you to crucify your conscience and compromise with their evil.

Me? But I don’t live in a fantasy world where witchcraft and magic actually work! Who are you talking to exactly?

Our job is to turn on the light. But too many Christians suffer from photophobia-they are afraid of the light.

Spooky and indistinct. That’s great for the narrator!

They are so fearful of being offensive that they are not effective. They would rather grieve the Holy Spirit than grieve the fat cats who control their churches financially.

Now it’s just confusing. Okay, you’ve got a good cast of characters, a nice make believe world where magic works in some unspecified way, and the groundwork for some nice conflict that can eventually be resolved.

I’ll give you a B- on this outline. Go back to your plot development and tighten it up a lot, don’t jump to the middle of your main ideas before you introduce the characters, and focus on the foreshadowing. Right now it feels like you’re in a rush to tell the readers everything about your story – especially all that stuff about various characters not having the light – and not giving them the background details.

But keep working on it! If you do so, I know that someday your work will be worth reading!

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